"It's Your Turn to Clean Up Mr. Fluffy's Accident"

Love your cat but hate his hair balls?  Do we have a tip for you!  Try adding 1/8 to 1/4 of a teaspoon of olive oil to your feline friend's food.  Smooth Op-purr-ator!!!

"No More Smell? I Used an Onion! What The Hell?"

We have proof that onions can do more than make you cry ( and give you horrid breath)!  Who would of guessed that this unlikely deodorizer would help  refresh your dank basement?  What is this magical item we speak of?  An onion!!!  To purify the air in your stuffy basement, cut an onion in half and place it on a plate.  Next, place the plate in the basement overnight.  Once the pungent odor dissipates, you will find your subterranean space will be void of foul scents!

Wendell, the newest member of our staff, seen here about to deodorize his basement!

My Picasso is Dirty, Grab the Wonder Bread!!!

Here is a WILD tip we read about in our favorite magazine, Real Simple.  Next time your Van Gogh is too dusty to show, grab a slice of white sandwich bread!  Yes, pick your jaw up off the desk we are talking about Wonder Bread and it's ilk.  Not sourdough, not dark rye, not pita, not focaccia.  Take the slice and glide it over the surface of your oil painting to remove dirt and dust.

Get Soft (Butter) Quicker!

Here is a great idea we found in a magazine that we thought would pass along to all our loyal readers!

So many recipes call for softened butter, but who has the time these days to wait for two sticks to reach room temperature?  Connie does (we pay her for that), but we don't.  Next time you need to thaw your butter in a flutter, you have two options.  The first is the obvious idea of sticking it in the microwave.  Zap it on low for 20 second intervals.  The butter is ready when it is malleable but not runny.  The second idea is to take the sticks and cut them into small chunks and set them on the counter for 10 to 15 minutes while you prepare other ingredients.  The smaller size and additional surface area will help the butter warm to room temperature quickly!

Odds and Ends

Here are a few miscellaneous must knows!

- Use dental floss (similar to the way a potter slices clay) to cut a cake layer.
- Use a hairdryer to remove stubborn price stickers from glass.
- Remove permanent marker from walls and counter tops with rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball.
- To prevent shoe strings from coming untied, rub lip balm where you tie the knot and they will stay put.
- If you don't have a camera case, store your pocket digital camera in a soap case.  This is handy when traveling or in your purse.
- Defog your goggles with toothpaste.

Nail Polish Niblets

Here is a few ideas we collected!  If you are confused about some of them, leave us a comment and we will gladly help you!

- Used to nail polish as a button securer. You can sew that loose button on later.
- Use clear nail polish to hold the screw in your eyeglasses longer.
- To keep your faux pearls from flaking.
- Color code keys.
- To prevent shaving cream cans from leaving rust rings in your tub or shower.
- Seal an envelope.
- Nail Polish Remover rubbed on the base of the cap of a glue bottle, will make opening it easier.

Lady Godiva and The Jarlsberg Chronicles...

We are beginning our blog today with a "true" adventure!  Connie, Kathleen, and I (Michael) were walking down Main Street in Whereverville, USA when a hooded figure plowed through us at a high rate of speed!  Unfortunately, Connie didn't see him coming because she has to wear double eye patches since the glitter accident a few weeks back. (The doctors tell us she will regain full vision in both eyes.)  Shortly thereafter a red faced, vintage Gouda vendor chased the hooded offender.  He screamed, "I will not be among the 3%!!!!".  As we picked Connie up out of the well groomed evergreens, Kathleen and I looked at each other in puzzlement. (Who knows what Connie was looking at?)  The offender, moving quickly for a man with pants full of cheese rounded the corner and was gone.  The panting vendor, stopped near us.  "What happened?" we inquired.  He told us the most fascinating fact.  The most frequently stolen food in the world is CHEESE!  More than 3% of the world's supply of cheese is stolen each year!  He shook his head and returned back to the Parmesan Palace but not before asking us a question.  "What's the deal with the woman with double eye patches?"  "Don't ask" we replied, shaking our heads.  The whole time, mind you, Connie was sitting on the pavement asking "What happened, what happened?  Why does it smell so Gouda out hear?"

Having witnessed such a senseless crime against fermented milk, we had to have a chocolate fix!  Luckily we happened to be walking by Lady Godiva's Confection Collection and we ducked in (dragging Connie).  As we entered the cocoa cave, a sweet, mild-mannered, sample girl stopped us dead in our tracks with a tray of goodies.  As we scarfed down a few treats (and fed Connie one or two) she offered up this tasty nugget (of info).  "Did you know that people who indulge in chocolate more than twice a week are 37% less likely to develop cardiovascular disease!"  Our hearts regained their normal rhythm, and we quickly thanked the girl and made a mad dash before we had to buy anything!

The things you learn when you take Connie for a walk!!!

::HOW TO KILL YOUR PET::

Happy New Year Everyone!  We only have 12 minutes before the office closes so here is a very quick and informative post on common human foods you might have around the house that may be toxic and even deadly to your pets!

-Alcohol (The kind you drink you booze hound!)
-Grapes
-Onions and Garlic (Sorry Italians!)
-Chocolates (Sorry over stressed housewives)
-Sugarless Gum (Sorry dentists!)

We are sure there are more so consult your vet for details!