Have you ever purchased new scissors (or thermometers, children's action figures, small electronics, etc) that have been sealed in a clam shell package? What is a clam shell you may ask? It's that thick, government-grade plastic retailers use to vacuum seal items in to prevent theft, but it ends up preventing anyone from getting at the damn thing! We have a solution which we have been testing in our labs for a several weeks and it doesn't involve scissors, a knife, explosives, or a chain saw! Yes, boys and girls a standard rotatory can opener! Who would have thought.
Make sure your can opener is not dull (like you) before you start. Turn the package over so that the front is facing down. Secure the can opener to the top right edge. Cut all the way around the outer border of the object. Ta-da you're in!