Unconventional Cornucopia Corner

Our office challenge this week was to create a cornucopia out of unconventional materials.  Everyone took a stab at it!  Timothy attempted to construct his cornucopia out of cooked and braided spaghetti.  He failed.  Connie tried create a festive paste from glitter and craft glue.  She failed.  Wendell gave Lincoln Logs a try.  He failed.  Michael, who always answers "paper" when asked "paper or plastic?" destroyed several brown paper bags in his attempts.  While he came the closest of all the staff, he failed.  Finally Kathleen while pondering all the previous failures had a light bulb (compact florescent not incandescent of course, we're green) moment and drew a boxer cutter from her boot and cut the screen from the office outside door.  She then rolled it into a cone shape.  She secured the seams with staples (be careful).  Next, she trimmed the opening to make it even.  Kathleen then rolled the opening of the cornucopia to create a "cuff" to hide the rough ends and add structure to the opening.  Finally, she twisted the the narrow end into iconic upward horn shape of a cornucopia.   To help distract form any seams or overlap, she used striped jute strapping to create a rustic ribbon effect.  She finished her creation by rummaging through the office "Fall" Files for all sorts of appropriate fillings and fauna.  Needless to say the rest of the office staff was green with envy over Kathleen's creation and decided that it should be featured on the blog this week!  Below see pictures of her creation!

Roll The Tape, Timmy!

Here are a few EXCITING new uses for tape!!!

1) Electrical tape comes in a variety of colors these days, so when your are having guests over use your collection to tag drink cups to avoid awkward mix ups!

2) When you tighten your belt does the tail hang low? If it does, try some double sided "fashion" tape to keep it in place.

3) Protect your plaster!  When hanging your next family photo or piece of artwork place a piece of scotch tape on the spot where the nail will be driven.  It will prevent cracking and chipping.

4) Did you eat your Triscuits over your keyboard and now it is full of crumbs and stuff?  Try sliding a long piece of transparent tape between the rows of keys.  The sticky side will pick up dust and food particles in a jiff!

5) Does your luggage look like everyone else's at the airport?  Help make baggage claim easier by adding a unique strip of colorful or patterned duct tape to your bags to help them stick out!

6) Next time you have spare screws left over from assembling your latest IKEA find, try storing them between layers of clear packing tape.  You can even label your packets to make finding them in the future easier!

Bonus Random Tip:  Connie was trying to pour the glitter from our glitter station back into its respective containers.  It took her a week to organize the particles into color groups and she didn't want to mess up her work.  The office was fresh out of funnels that day so Wendell (always willing to be Connie's mindless slave) quickly folded over and rolled a piece of aluminum foil from our foil station into a gleaming, silver funnel!  Connie was thrilled and the next three months of glitter sorting was avoided.  Thank you Wendell!  We know what a snit Connie gets in when she is assigned glitter sorting duties.

GREAT IDEA CORNER 2013

We were all sitting around the office cleaning up our files while getting ready for the new year when we realized that there were several great ideas we neglected to share!

1.) Kathleen got a fabulous new pair of purple, ostrich, leather boots for Christmas!  Boy was Timmy jealous!  However, while coming into work, she slid on our icy sidewalks, so as soon she pulled herself out of the lilac bushes she decided to solve this dangerous problem.  "There is more than one way to skin this cat!" she exclaimed walking through the door picking lilac twigs from her hair.  We all looked at her puzzled, but as soon as she took off her boots we knew what she was referring to, her slippery soles!

Wendell said, "I've got sandpaper right here at my desk!"

Connie said, "Yes, I've heard that works but wrapping wide rubber bands around your shoes works better!" as she knocked her coffee cup on the ground.  (Her depth perception isn't what it used be ever since the glitter accident of  2010 which left her wearing an eye patch ironically covered in glitter.)

Timmy said, "Try duct tape strips!"  We all looked at him doubtfully (and Connie half looked).

Kathleen shrugged and said "What the hell, the lilac bush is already destroyed."  She cut a few one inch strips of tape and  placed them on the soles and heel of her boots.  She tested the concept by walking back to the lilac bush to retrieve her egg salad sandwich which had landed on an upper branch.  She stood tall and strode back to the lobby not slipping a whit!

2) On to solving Connie's problem!   Using a paper gift certificate she had left in her sock drawer, she mail-ordered a "sexy" negligee from Lace Place.  When it arrived, she loved it but couldn't get the crocheted beauty to stay on a hanger!  She had already ironed it seven times as she was hoping that Wendell would arrive for a Christmas "nog" (her words, not ours) and was getting  frustrated (in more ways than one). CELEBRATE to the rescue!  "I've got this one" said Michael as he pulled a package of dollar store felt pads from the junk drawer of his work bench.  "Hand me a coat hanger from the lobby and I'll show you how to solve your slippery problem!" he barked.  He deftly peeled a pad from  it's backing and pinched it upon itself about 2/3rd of the way down on each side of the hanger.  Perfect!  Connie told us the next morning that the straps stayed put and wouldn't go past the felt pads!  "Yippee" Timmy exclaimed with glee.

3) We were feeling especially good about our problem solving abilities when Timmy said, "Hey chums!  Did I ever tell you about my summer at Camp Lobster Claw? You probably think it was an intensive camp for seafood lovers but it wasn't!  It was an exclusive, by invitation only, challenge camp for gifted, young, jewelry designers from the Mid-West! Our camp motto was, 'To hell with lanyards we only use gems and metals'!"   Timmy then unbuttoned his shirt and revealed a camp sash so crowded with achievement badges and pins that it looked like a Bolivian bus at rush hour.  He explained that his most prized medal was the one he received for winning the "Great Chain Untangling Competition of 2007".

"Wow" said Wendell "How did you do it?"

"Baby oil"  Timmy shrieked.

"Eww" Connie muttered.

"Don't be so fast with that eww" quipped Wendell,"Go on Timothy."

"This is the first time I have ever revealed the secrets of untangling chains."  Timmy confided.  "Just pour a little baby oil over the knot in the tangle and then start gently picking it apart.  In moments it will be free!"  he said.

"That's it?!" Connie bitched.

"YUPPERS!" Timmy grinned.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Wonderful Last Minute Costume Ideas!

• "French Kiss" Paint your face like your favorite member of the rock band KISS and pop on a beret.
• "Fantasy Football" Dress up in a wizard gown or clock.  Attach a long gray beard if you have one and throw on a helmet.  Feel free to carry a wand!
• "Buccaneer"  Tape a dollar bill to each ear lobe.
• "Iron Chef" Carry around a clothes iron and wear a chef hat and apron.
• "Gold Digger" Spray paint a plastic shovel gold and carry it around.
• "Sugar Daddy/Mama" Throw on front facing baby carrier and add a bag of sugar.  Tip:  Empty the bag of sugar into a container at home to use later, and stuff to the sugar bag with fiber fill or crumpled paper to reduce the weight.
• "Fork In The Road"  Buy a black t-shirt and add 3 lengths of yellow duct tape.  Add a plastic fork under one of the strips of tape.
• "Pumpkin Pie"  Create a t-shirt with a picture of a pumpkin pie with the Greek letter "pi" on it.  This can be done using an iron-on transfer and the computer, fabric markers/paint, or even construction paper!
• "Bottle Neck"  String some empty bottles around your neck.
• "Cloudy with A Chance of Rain" Glue clusters of cotton balls to a blue t-shirt to represent clouds and carry a spray bottle.  For a literary take, carry a plate of meatballs instead of a squirt gun then you'll be  "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs"!
• "Time Flies"  Wear a pair of angel wings (store bought or homemade) and hang a wall clock around your neck!
• "Smartie Pants" Tape or glue candy "Smarties" all over your pants!
• "Q-Tip"  Wrap your head and feet in cotton batting/fiber fill/KAPOK around your head and feet then wear a white t-shirt and pants.

And here is what Connie and Wendell plan on wearing to your 2012 Halloween Hoe Down (sponsored by Martha Stewart Glitter):   Connie will secure herself in a large box faux-finished to look like a brick while Wendell will wear  a workman's cap, apron, gloves, and carry a trowel because we will be a brick "layer"!  What a pair!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM "CELEBRATE"!!!

"I Love You" In An Unconventional Way

After several months of intensive, visual therapy ("look left, look right...how many fingers am I holding up")  Connie finally was authorized to remove her eye patch (which by this time was covered in enough rhinestones that it over shadowed the office disco ball).  Two things happened!  One, Wendell was entranced by duality of her vision and her two (count them) two gorgeous blue eyes. Two, depth perception having returned, Connie suddenly appreciated Wendell's manly good looks.  Since then the rest of us in the CELEBRATE labs in Colchester, VT have noticed them beginning attempts to court each other.  For example we have seen:

- Connie's handbag filled with cut-out paper hearts

- "Wendell, you wow me" written on the window in the morning dew

- We received a letter from the Burlington International Zoo thanking us for our adoption of a pair of love birds named "Connie and Wendell" 

- Connie's dented fender when she was shocked by Wendell's recorded voice reciting love poetry over her car speakers. She told the police officer responding to the fender bender that she found a CD in her car stereo and confirmed Wendell was not in the back seat as she first thought.  (She ran over our prized crab apple tree in the traffic circle in front of the lab)

- When invited over to Wendell's RV for cocktails, he served a delicious, fruity "Connie-Tini". A tsunami of nausea washed over the staff.

- Connie wrote "I'm wild about you" backwards on the rear window of his car.  Glancing in his rear view mirror his pace maker worked overtime!

- Wendell screaming "Meana Tanda Wena" Zulu for "I Love You" (Picked up form his studying abroad in the Congo learning from the native people the finer points of pom-pom people dolls.  Boy did his International Crafts degree pay off!)

Finally, after too many "Connie-Tinis" combined with the recent memory of her accident Connie decided to spend the night in Wendell's RV to be safe.  As she laid her head on the pillow, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"!  Wendell for yet another romantic surprise had placed a sturdy Hersey Kiss (point up) on Connie's pillow.  Having poor vision in the dark, Connie's left eye caught the silver foil and her cornea was no match!  Yes fans, the eye patch WILL return..... DON DON DOOOOOONNNNNNN.

We hope you were inspired by the prolific, romantic expressions of Connie and Wendell's blossoming love for one another!

To be continued....

Connie, an androgynous senior woman with eye patch

Our Lab Loves Mother Earth!

One morning Wendell walked into the kitchen wearing Connie's silk robe and pulled a box of Captain Cavity Sugar Flakes from a plastic grocery bag.  At the same time, Connie was making fluffy pancakes and couldn't seem to locate her syrup pitcher.  A typical Tuesday brunch at the lab!  As we all sat down around the reclaimed Texaco sign that serves as our conference room table we found ourselves in a heated discussion regarding trash.  This was triggered by Wendell throwing the thick, plastic bag which held his too-sweet cereal  treat on the floor and the coordinating box which once contained the dentist dream into the trash.  We all yelled in unison, "There must be another use for that!" (meanwhile, Connie with her one good eye was still fumbling around trying to locate her pitcher).  Here are the ideas we jotted down on our napkins (because we reuse EVERYTHING).

To solve Connie's problem:

-Find yourself a small decorative, attractive teapot!  A charming syrup pitcher!  Look at yard sales, thrift shops, or your cupboard!

To solve Wendel's problem (it'll take even more than our team's help to solve HIS problems but we digress):

The Cereal Box
- A drawer organizer.  Slice off the tops and bottoms and fill them with odds and ends.  You can even use the small boxes for paper clips, staples, etc.  Kathleen recommends reinforcing the corners with tape for a longer life!

-A cupcake carrier.  Reseal your empty box of cereal and lay it flat.  Next, cut the now top off of the box creating a tray. Slip, the cut portion inside the tray to reinforce the bottom.  Now you can send you child to school with cupcakes for the bake sale without needing to fret about your expensive platters.

-Photo mailing.  Use scraps of the box to mail photos or documents without fear of them getting bent out of shape.  Cut any box into useful sizes for that matter!

- Shims.  Cut the box into small squares or rectangles of the same size.  Secure them with a rubber band.  Next time you run across a off kilter table or chair you will have the perfect solution.

The Cereal Liner


The liners are thick and water repellent  therefore excellent to pack your hoagie in.  Take the liner and remove any cereal dust.  Next cut into sheets and wrap your sprout wrap tightly!

You can also use the bag to smash stale bread into bread crumbs.  The liner is thick enough to take the abuse.

The Plastic Grocery Bag

Wrap your knees in plastic bags to prevent soiling your jeans while gardening.

Throw a plastic bag inside your purse or man-bag.  Next time it rains you will have a place to stash your wet umbrella!

You can of course wrap up a paint brush when taking a break.  The bag will keep the paint moist and ready to get back to work!

"OH NO! IT BROKE!!!" SHE SAID

"You shouldn't have pulled out so quickly!" Connie exclaimed.  Wendell was flustered from the accident.  He never saw the other car coming when he attempted to pull away from the curb and pull into traffic. A sub-compact going double the speed limit had sped by shearing off the the driver's side mirror.  The micro machine took the corner on two wheels that were no bigger a go-cart tired and was gone!  Shaken, Wendell and Connie looked at one another.  "This first date isn't turning out so great is it?" Connie lamented.  At that moment, an idea raced through her mind as quickly as Wendell raced into her heart.  Knowing having a mirror replaced would be a costly repair Connie said "Wendell, I have two words that will spice this date back up, DOLLAR STORE!".  Wendell's eyes widened and his pace maker buzzed.  This date was going to take a turn for the better and nothing got the both of them hotter in the compression hosiery than a good DIY project!  On the ride to the nearest dollar store, Connie explained her project.  She told her Boniva popping boy toy, she had seen the perfect temporary replacement for the missing mirror at the dollar store.  When they entered the store Connie made a b-line for a display of rectangular locker mirrors.  She picked one up and made her way to check out.  While waiting in line, she told Wendell they would also need to stop by a hardware store to pick up some Gorilla Glue Gorilla Tape to finish the project.  After the two collected all the supplies, they stopped in a parking lot to make the fix.  Wendell removed the dollar store locker mirror from its packaging and held it on the remains of the driver's side mirror.  Shaking with excitement (and an undiagnosed  nerve condition) Connie used the weather resistant tape to affix the mirror.  Tada, the car mirror was fixed!  "It should at least last you until you get your car inspected" Wendell said.  "Or until those cheapskate bosses give me my damn paycheck" Connie said with a chuckle.

"No More Smell? I Used an Onion! What The Hell?"

We have proof that onions can do more than make you cry ( and give you horrid breath)!  Who would of guessed that this unlikely deodorizer would help  refresh your dank basement?  What is this magical item we speak of?  An onion!!!  To purify the air in your stuffy basement, cut an onion in half and place it on a plate.  Next, place the plate in the basement overnight.  Once the pungent odor dissipates, you will find your subterranean space will be void of foul scents!

Wendell, the newest member of our staff, seen here about to deodorize his basement!